Ladies and gentlemen: footage of a critical moment of Saturday Night Live history just dropped.

"Having Maria Bello in the third Mummy movie, replacing Rachel Weisz, was a terrible choice. It would’ve been better to say ...

I worry about the cows, perhaps more so than other non-cow-owning people. Growing up, I lived in one house in Springfield, Virginia for nine years before we moved to the new house — with cows nearby.